In case of apocalypse

In preparation for National Novel Writing Month, I've been doing a lot of research into zombies - my chosen genre this year is 'Humorous Post-Apocalyptic' which can only go well... I've even gone so far as to order the Zombie Survival Guide (seriously, the zombies had better not invade before next week because that's when my book arrives) And, looking over the available zombie survival advice, I'm pretty much sorted for when the zombies come.

Weapons are basically the main thing if any agressive zombies come knocking and, I don't know about you, but I'd rather take them out at a distance than get zombie remains splattered all over me (slaying the undead is a messy job...). Conveniently, I happen to be a pretty decent shot. Okay, it's only at 50m at a target that isn't shambling towards me trying to eat my brains but still, I figure it's got to be a good start.

First aid knowledge may come in handy too and, whilst I may not know how to treat an infected zombie bite (for some reason, it wasn't a topic in the course I went on) but I know enough to bandage any potential lethal papercuts (which is really all the medical knowledge you need)

Survivors need to come to terms with being alone in a world overrun by zombies. However, I'm pretty anti-social to begin with and I love being in large places without many people, so I'm well suited to a life in the hidden survivor hideout. (Besides, some days, I'm pretty certain that most of the people around me are mindless zombies already so I'm used to the feeling...)

Zombies are unlikely to be flocking towards me as well. It's a well known fact that zombies' preferred food are brains and I don't seem to have many. They know it's not worth their time to chase me down and put up with my screaming for a tiny morsel. Also, I don't taste nice (apparently. You might not want to know how I know that...).

And, the most important reason why I'm going to survive the zombie apocalypse: I happen to know that Switzerland has enough nuclear bunkers to house its entire population (and has one of the highest bunker:population ratio). And if a nuke can't wreck the shelter, I feel it's a safe bet that the zombies can't get in either. I've got my visa sorted, plane ticket booked and bank account set up.

So when the apocalypse comes, I'll be ready. See you in Switzerland...