A few months ago, my friend asked me to write something for the school magazine. On account of me being lazy, I merely sent her a link to my post on selfish umbrellas (which, to be fair, is still a post I'm pleased with, so I'm not that irritated by my own laziness). Anyhow, the theme was supposed to be about doors so it didn't quite work but she still put it in anyway. She's slightly odd (yet lovely) like that for not laughing at my writing. But to make up for it, I am now going to write down all the random door-related thoughts that are floating around in my head.
First off, I'm not going down that cliched route of 'opening new doors, shutting old ones.' Nope. I'm going to talk about shut doors in a very literal sense. See, I don't always pay attention to things like where I'm walking. So doors are a big problem for me, because they tend to be blocking my path, and I can't always cope with overcoming such an obstacle. My face then rapidly decelerates as it hits the door. (I'm pretty sure I've recieved at least 1 black eye from this kind of thing, yet no one ever warns you of such risks...)
Speaking of problems overcoming doors, push and pull doors are the worst. Even when they are clearly labelled, if you aren't completely paying attention (again...) then the 2 p words look similar. There are surely few things worse than tugging at a door (or kicking the heck out of it), complaining it's locked and then someone comes along and pushes (/pulls) it open. Then they give you that look - you know the one I mean.
Also, as your typical argumentive teenager, I'm fairly good at slamming doors. Whilst I don't condone slamming doors often, it can be an effective conversation ender. Here is my step by step guide:
1. Pick the point in the argument during when you want to leave and start heading towards the door.
2. As you do so, check the door area for dangers (e.g. your cat sitting in the door's path, someone's fingers). If there are dangers, remove them or postpone the dramatic exit until a more suitable time.
3. Slam the door. If you intend to keep on walking afterwards, go with the wrist flick technique to help the door gather momentum. If you are standing still on the other side, you may want to try a sideways kick. Just don't fall over. Ruins the effect somewhat.
4. Leave your door slam there. Don't keep slamming the door because if you break the door/walls around it, it's going to get awkward.
At this point, I feel I should say something positive about doors, to maintain a balance. (Struggling somewhat here...) I suppose doors are pretty useful, aside from the whole keeping stuff out/in point. Doors give a pretty good idea of a place. Looking at my door right now, you can tell that I've been in this room since I was a child, judging by the tacky, brightly coloured sign with my name on it. You can probably tell I like/liked science from the mad scientist warning sign stuck on with blue tack. As the kind of person who loves to draw conclusions off these kind of things, doors can be pretty interesting. Anyone want to have a go at describing their door so I can judge? :P
For some reason, I can't help but thinking of lockpicking. Not necessarily as a malicious thing but out of interest (seriously, there is a society of lockpicking enthusiasts out there which sounds quite cool). Because who secretly doesn't want to know how to pick a lock? Also, (interesting fact here) most doors are hollow and therefore a great hiding places for stuff where few people would think to look. Just sayin' (I got a book called 'The Big Book of Secret Hiding Places' when I was 14. I'm a cool kid like that.)
There you have it. A 5 paragraph post containing all the stuff on doors I could drag out of my brain at 22:30 on a school night. Sorry for the randomness, but hey, doors are an important part of life (seriously, count how many doors you see in an average day. A lot.) What is everyone else's opinions on doors then?
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