Monday 30 April 2012

Why don't people believe me?!

Okay, I don't think anyone's read this post, but if you have read 'The Improbable-ness of statistics' then you might remember me saying that people don't always take into account the very very crazily rare events. This has a knock on effect as I found out, because when such a unbelievable event does happen (no, none of my coins spontaneous disappeared into a black hole), it takes a lot more convincing.

Everyone has probably heard/used 'My dog ate my homework', right? It's pretty much the most cliched of implausible excuses for not doing homework but I suppose it is still possible. And since that old classic was first used by some desperate student, lots of spin offs have been created by even more desperate students. For instance 'My budgie ate it', 'My cat ate it', 'My friend ate it'.

Now, I can fully understand why people have to use excuses for homework, (I've had to use them every now and then when my time-turner has broken....) but it does mean that teachers are less understanding when you tell them that your friend really did eat your reply slip.
I should explain a bit more quickly. My friend was messing about and we were talking about eating paper (maybe we were discussing rabbits or something?!) so to prove a point my friend, with no regard for hygeine/littering, snatched the first piece of paper she saw into her mouth without looking. I could hardly give in a chewed, slightly soggy reply slip, now could I?!

But, for reasons unknown, when I asked my teacher for another one, explaining what had happened, she didn't believe me. Oh the injustices of the educational system :(

The most pathetic bullet-proof armour...

I'm going to talk about the slightly obscure sport I do today. Target shooting. No! Not shotgun! Yes! At paper targets, not people/animals! The number of questions I get when I tell someone I shoot is incredible (unless they too are a shooter). But on a dress-up-like-a-sport day, when I came in in all my shooting kit, I got a new question: 'Is that like bullet proof or something?'

(Picture from edinkille.co.uk)

This is literally the only picture I could find so I'll describe it. The jacket and trousers are made of stiff canvas/leather that is really inflexible. Really, really inflexible. The trousers often has grippy stuff that looks like the soft tarmac they put in kids' playgrounds.. The jacket have buttons which have some overlap (to fit the rules) but are still quite tight. Some jackets need a special spoon to do up the buttons, to give you an inidication of how tight a fit it is. The shoes are ankle boots that look like they have a rectanglar bit of plastic stuck on the sole so that the sole is flat with a square toe and heel. All of this is also really uncomfortable to wear at times - try wearing a leather suit for a hour and a bit in the middle of summer indoors! This stuff is really hard to move about in and looks a little odd to say the least. In fact, in order to stop shooters waddling around like penguins and looking ridiculous, rules have had to be brought in saying that the shooter must be able to walk properly! So I suppose, it isn't too unexpected that people might think it is some sort of bullet proof protection.

But really?! We aren't going to be shot in this sport - it's really safe for one thing and the targets are at least 10m away with all the shooters far, far away from the dangerous bullets. Admittedly, it might be bullet-proof but I certainly don't want to find out soon. Nope, the reason we have this (seemingly excessive) kit is to stop any movement. Any movement whatsoever. With air rifle, the nine ring (shooting is scored out of 10 by the way with 10 being the best) is the size of the pellet you are shooting. And when you get really competitive, a single 9 makes a big difference to where you are on the results list.

The flat soled shoes stop you rocking back and forth or side to side on your feet (theoretically - I still bounce on my heels), the stiff trousers support your back and help your knees - this back support is really important in shooting where back injuries are one of the more common injuries - and the jacket holds your upper body in the right place. Zero movement is the goal. Elite shooters even try and get their heart rate to a minimum! All of this to get the perfect shot, and from there, the perfect match (600/600 or 400/400 depending).

So next time you stumble across someone in shooting kit (as common as that is...), you now know why they are wearing that slightly bizarre outfit!

Sunday 29 April 2012

The awesome-ness of Chemistry

I'm in a really good mood with Chemistry at the moment. I've finally finished all my revision notes for the first unit of Chemistry! I'm in such a good mood I'd thought I'd write a blog post about why I love Chemistry.

I mean, yes, Chemistry is awesome in part because it basically helps us understand why things are made the way they are, like why graphite is special and can conduct electricity even though it's not a metal (free electrons!), and how things work together, like why I need fire to burn stuff (to exceed the activation energy needed to get the oxygen and the flammable stuff to react [I think...]). But I think the main reason people should love chemistry and have at least a basic understanding is all the chemistry related puns!!!

Completely by accident, I said to myself, 'Let's get cracking with this Chemistry revision!' and I was just about to start fractional distillation and cracking! (Look, I found it funny at the time.) 'Carbon is a girl's best friend' based off diamond being a allotrope of carbon  (I thought about putting that on a t-shirt once...). Dative covalent bonds - sharing is caring. And who hasn't heard 'I've lost an electron!' 'Are you sure?!' 'I'm positive!!!' ?! Not going to get me many marks on my exams but it's making revision a little less painful...

Okay, these probably aren't too hilarious, but in the post-revision daze, everything seems hilarious. Except metal extraction. That isn't such a fun topic. Anyone got any good chemistry jokes to share? (To be fair, all the good ones argon :P)

Tuesday 24 April 2012

My Unusual Athletics Injuries

As I said earlier I like running. I never said I was any good at it. And I have just learnt how horrendously bad at it and unhealthy I am! (The only muscle I really exercise is my brain and even that is a rare workout) Anyway, here is a hopefully amusing list of my injuries (excluding general aches): - 1 x bruise in hip and 1 x battered elbow Instead of jumping over the high jump bar, I did this odd rugby tackle jump on to the bar and somehow trapped it between my elbow and hip. Those poles really hurt too - probably a good incentive to clear it then! - 2 x bruise on ribs Whilst running my 4th and longest race of the day (remember me saying I didn't do long distance...? Yeah.) I kind of died figuratively speaking. I had a huge stitch down my ribs and everyone was yelling at me to 'run it off' (Said the ones not running it!). So I did this awkward little jog thing whilst clutching my ribs (you know, in case they fell out or something) but turns out, I was gripping my ribs so hard, I've left a hand shaped bruise! - 2 x grazed palms Because apparently, just finishing the relay race and passing on the baton isn't enough. It helps to stay upright and not fall flat on your face afterwards. Or more specifically, flat on your hands. - 1 x dodgy right eye For some reason my right eye decided it literally couldn't cope with the sight of any more laps and went all blurry :/ It's fine, I don't need to be able to actually see where I'm running... - 1 x slightly twisted ankle Not from the running, that would be too common a injury for me. Nope I hurt myself after the race whilst walking down the stairs to get a healthy ice cream. Gravity as always won :( - 1 x sore throat From all my crazily high pitched 'team encouragement' and the even higher pitched squeal I made every time I tried to do the long jump (again, another event where you are actually supposed to jump!) There you have it. Despite, or possibly even partially because, of this list, I had fun. And even better, I am still currently alive so all is well. But I should probably stay away from stairs, ice cream, cheering, running or jumping. Or maybe just movement in general... Anyone else had any interesting sports related injuries?

Monday 23 April 2012

Cats - (Not so) Secretly Evil

Now, don't get me wrong. I love cats, especially my cat - an adorable blob of fur, fluff and cuddliness. But I'm pretty sure that she is evil. Really evil.

She doesn't move much (she is a bit of a lazy cat...) so you think you are safe, that she isn't going to do anything. That sense of security is a lie. She is just sitting there plotting her next attack. My cat's preferred offense is 'less is more'. She will just sit there. That might not seem like too much, aside from the trip hazard, but the main problem is where she sits. On the paper you're trying to read, the homework you are trying to do or the seat you are about to sit on, even if it requires her leaping over sofas or ducking under your makeshift (ineffective) cat-block. And if that still doesn't get your attention, she will walk on your laptop or sit on your lap just as you were about to move. To make matters worse, as well as being a lazy cat, she is also rather pudgy so she will take up all the space. Every last micrometre. Not helpful.

Once she is in position, she will start the attack properly. Her claws might seem quite small but they are really, really sharp! Teachers do not appreciate you giving them in ripped homework, my mother doesn't appreciate having to fix threads caught by her paws and I don't appreciate having a few more ventilation holes put in me.

But despite all this, my family still loves our cat. I'm pretty sure it's not just her either. Anyway, we just keep a suspicious eye on her, especially when she looks like she is about to sit down...

Friday 20 April 2012

When the recipe asks for one thing - substitute!

Not much of a substitution really, but if you ever need to ice some cakes and you've run out of icing (and like me, you can't really make some) then Nutella is pretty good alternative. Hard to spread but oh so delicious! Or, you know, you could just eat the Nutella straight from the jar without the cake... (Also - try eating condensed milk just on its own. Yum!)

Thursday 19 April 2012

Running around everwhere like a maniac is fun! (Really!)

I tend to run everywhere (short distance wise that is - I have no stamina!), which is quite entertaining for both myself and bystanders, except from those I run into that is. I think it's mostly entertaining for bystanders because I look stupid when I run (someone once said I ran like a dinosaur...) but, hey! An interesting technicality in my school rules means that theoretically I can't be told off for running in the car park or towards the main building because running is only banned in 'covered walkways' - being the rebel that I am, I sometimes break that too. So I intend to make full use of this loophole because, simply, I like to run. Not so simply, here is why:

- It's so much more efficent (Time wise that is - running burns more calories per mile than walking). I am really impatient so if I have the choice between a 2 minute walk all the way to the far side of the school or a 30 second jog, I'll chose the latter. Have you any idea how much time a day we spend walking everywhere, even short distances?! It all adds up
- I am quite prompt outside of school (5 minutes early is what I consider late!) but in school, clubs and lessons over run. Every teacher wants their lesson to start on time but think that the end of their lesson is the time when the next lesson starts meaning there are only two ways of being on time - apparate or run. And I'm too young to apparate...
- It adds more excitement to my day. It's like a little obstacle course - weaving between the chatting groups, dodging a year 7's giant rucksack, jumping up on to the side walk and swinging around corners, hopefully without any collisions. Because that is the kind of exciting thing that goes on in my life...
- If I run a little bit, I can claim to be exercising and healthy! Between that and all the stairs I have to go up - steep ones too! - ...okay, still pretty unhealthy. But a start nevertheless!
- Running fast is just really fun on its own in the right conditions. For me, the right conditions are when I'm feeling energetic (or angry...) to put on a burst of speed, it's raining or just finished but it's not cold because for me there is nothing better than the rain or splashing through a puddle (real mature), there's a slight wind against me so when I run I can hear that faint whistling that makes it seem faster. I mean, yes, fast for me is like 5 miles per hour for about 10 seconds but it's still fast relatively.

So why do you run? Long distances, short distance? When you can or when you plan? (I don't plan because if I plan something, it increases the chances of it never ever happening :/)

Wednesday 11 April 2012

The improbable-ness of statistics

I have a statistics exam coming up soon and I just saw a video on probability so that is what I'm going to talk about today. (Side note: I don't think the link work - try searching on YouTube for Fun Science: Randomness by charlieissocoollike. Curse my lack of technological skills!) If I were to flip your average coin, there is not a 50:50 chance of getting heads. In part this is because of slight biases in flipping techniques (because there is a right and a wrong way to flip a coin!) and imperfections on the coin that make it more likely to land on one side. But even the probability of getting heads or tails is not necessarily 1. Okay, I'll admit that it is pretty likely that if you were to flip a coin a billion times, it's going to end up as one of those two outcomes. But there are other, admittedly highly unlikely, possibilities that could completely ruin any lovely heads/tails tree diagrams: - The coin could land on its side. This is actually not entirely out of the realms of plausibility. If you can balance a coin on its side without too much difficulty, then it could potentially land like that. What would you do then?! Call it a draw? Thump the table until it falls over (ruining the unbiased-ness of the already biased experiment). Probability: minute but still possible. - The coin might not land properly. Excluding the fact that it might land on its side, the coin still might not land in a recordable way. It might end up stuck in something. See that could happen. If you were to conduct the experiment in space, it might never land at all, just keep flipping around FOR ALL OF ETERNITY. By which point you would have given up and returned to Earth (unless you were really dedicated as a scientist). Probability: even less likely but still possible. - The coin might not make it. Imagine, if you will, that you had flipped that coin back in 2009 when the LHC was first started and everyone was panicked about the possibility of a blackfoot engulfing the Earth. Imagine (bear with me ere) that you flipped the coin inside the collider and a black hole appeared and swallowed your coin (and probably yourself and the rest of the planet too). It hasn't landed so you can't record a result, you can't do a retest and, like a school bully, the black hole has run off with your lunch money. Bit of a scientific nightmare. Probability: Admittedly a little unlikely but who knows? So basically, even when we think we have all the possible outcomes, we probably don't. And yes the probability of these outcomes are so minuscule we can probably safely ignore ten, they are still an option. And that is what I shall put on my test. ...And that'll probably be why I'll fail the test too!

Wednesday 4 April 2012

Script Frenzy - Training for a future in sleep depravation

So, it's day 3 (technically, day 4 now) and I've just started my Screnzy. That means I'm 10 pages behind already. And that is the main reason why I'm up at 1am when I'm normally asleep by 10pm (because I'm such a party animal like that).

Script Frenzy and Nanowrimo are very important especially for teenagers, I think, because they give a good insight in to the adult world. Staying up later than possible even with caffeine (I've been up way later than this for Nano before...), frantically working away to hit that nigh on impossible deadline.

Drowsiness both hinders and helps the creative process I think. It helps because, at that point, you are too tired to really care what you are writing (like this) so at least you get stuff done, and who knows, the ramblings you end up with might be entertaining. The downsides are that, asides from writing complete rubbish, you also end up with some many spelling errors that even the good text is uncipherable, and there is the serious risk of falling asleep on the keyboard and filling 100 pages with one repeated letter.

But after Script Frenzy or Nano, when I've slept off all my writing time, life suddenly feels so much  longer. When you are no longer spending at least 3 hours a day writing (Yes, it takes me forever.), you suddenly get a lot more time to socialise, chill and, best of all, sleep.

In the future, I'm inevitably going to end up in situations where I have to do things wih very little sleep (I'm going to become nocturnal for uni - it's when I get most done!) and I feel as if I now have a solid foundation to build on. So thank you Script Frenzy and Nano, for preparing me for the real world where a day is 24 hours too short.

Tuesday 3 April 2012

Why Latin is NOT a dead language!

Okay, I'll admit it now. I actually enjoy learning (on the whole). To some, this might make complete sense, but it seems to me that several people about my age think that willingly going to school is about as weird as me having grown a second head - I got some quite interesting looks. I didn't help myself much when I mentioned that one of the subjects I learnt was Latin - apparently even taking Latin makes you posh, which is a complete lie when you look at me or my Latin taking friends.

Admittedly, I spent the last year of my Latin course complaining about how much I hated Latin (a view which changed considerably once I got my results back), but now I no longer do Latin, or any other language based course actually, I've surprisingly come to miss it.

Yes, Latin Literature involved hours of writing the same text over and over again, combined with analysis of every word, its placement and some literary device I never understood. Yes, Latin grammar also took hours of rote learning all the various endings and tiny words or letters that changed the meaning of the whole sentence, and occasionally the story. I don't really miss that aspect at all.

What I miss is the vocabulary. Alright, that also took hours of rote learning. But at least with that, as I scrolled through lists of words, I could pick out the familiar looking ones. Considering English is partly from Latin, you can guess some of the words in English using a bit of Latin (and luck). Some of them are obvious - corpus: corpse, nauta (sailor): nautical - but some of them are bit more obscure. Credo means I believe/trust and if you give someone credit (in the sense of money), you trust they will pay you back. Extra means outside in Latin so extra-ordinary is something outside the ordinary (not something additional on top of the normal). Latin helps with those extra layers of meaning.

And I know I said doing Latin doesn't make you posh, but it can help you fake it. Loads of mottos and stuff are in Latin: Cognito ergo sum - I think therefore I am, Arte et Marte - By skill and by fighting (Also, one of the few grammar points I picked up on, but its in the ablative case which means by!). And at least three commonly used abbreviations are Latin: e.g. - exampli gratia - for the sake of example, i.e - id est - that is (Commonly confused those two: e.g. gives a general example, i.e. gives a specific thing), and etc - et cetera - and others. So yes, you can pretend to be posh as well, which has its benefits.

Clearly Latin language is still very much alive, both mutated into new English words, and as it was. Latin history isn't even dead, considering how much we learnt and are still learning from the Romans (though we didn't study that as much, asides from a few tangents). So, whilst I don't really expect there to be too many fluent Latin speakers out there (though surprisingly, there are quite a few), maybe we should try and bring back at least an awareness of Latin!
Ab hinc, lingua Latina!! (Which, I hope, means 'From here on, the Latin language!', but again, my Latin was never brilliant, so no guarantees :P)

Monday 2 April 2012

Juggling with onions

Just putting this out there, but any amateur jugglers who want a good starting ball without having to buy/make one should serious look at onions. Here is a convenient bullet point list as to why:

- Onions are about the right size for juggling, and if you have very large hands, you can just get a larger onion!
- They are also about the right weight; not so heavy that you drop them immediately (though that would have to be like a lead ball...), but not so light that you can't feel you've caught it (which is a downside of using balled up socks)
- They are also about the right shape! Trying to juggle with oddly shaped things (again, like socks) is really hard
- Onions are quite sturdy. If you drop them a couple of times, they stay more or less the same. Drop an apple a couple of times and you end with puree everywhere, which is not fun to clean up.
- Onions are pretty available. We tend to have some in the house which is perfect for an impromptu juggling session (it's just a matter of finding the onions...)
- Having gone into the garage to get them (which is where I get mine from), you are far away from any objects that may take badly to mis-thrown onions
- When you get fed up with dropping them everywhere, you can make spaghetti!

I suppose one of the main disadvantages is that you may look a little odd juggling onions, but I'm going to justify that by saying you would look odd regardless of what you were juggling (unless you were very good, which I most certainly am not).

The Hidden Benefits of Obscurity

Let's be completely honest. No one is likely to read this. Even I'm unlikely to read this once it is down on paper (proof reading is not something I do often). This poet, like this blog is probably going to end up in some dusty old corner of the Internet, contributing the bandwidth clutter. And I'm fine with that to be honest. I've even come up with a list about all the perks of being unread (silver linings rule!): - No one cares about my atrocious spelling/grammar. Which is doubly handy as I'm an inaccurate typist who never proof reads and has a dodgy Autocorrect function on their phone. - I don't have to worry about spam/trolling comments. I'd rather have no comments at all than a hundred telling me I've won an iPad or that my computer is at risk. - There is no one to critise my insane theories. I could announce on here that I plan totals over the world with a bunch of pirates and a parrot called Bob and there would be no one to bat an eyelid (I you thought that was an example, you might like to thinking again: I have a script for my world domination and everything) - I can get hours of entertainment from looking at the stats page of the blog. I get really exicited when I get a pageview and I'm sure major blogs don't leap for joy when they see they've had three page views today (Disclaimer: one of them was me XD) Really quite fun! - I don't feel as guilty about posting at random times with irregular intervals and about completely bizarre and unrelated topics. I mean, I still feel slightly guilty, but if people were actually to read this regularly, the resulting guilt for not having posted in a week might actually kill me (I'm very susceptible to guilt) So you see! Not just one silver lining but many! Of corse if you are actually reading this then this post is slightly pointless. Then you wouldn't be reading it. And we would be stuck in a Catch-22 like paradox... Maybe not such a silver lining after all!

Sunday 1 April 2012

Script Frenzy - Oh the Thinks you can think up

Today is the 1st April (Just in case you hadn't noticed). As well as being April Fool's Day and Palm Sunday, it is the start of Script Frenzy!

What is Script Frenzy? It's a challenge to write 100 pages of a script (film, TV, graphic novel etc.) in April. Basically, it is a month where aspiring writers, like myself, put random words down on a piece of blank paper in the hopes of filling it up. Some people try and go for something intelligable at the end, but for me (and my appalling writing skills) it's more about making sure that the sentences are at least sentences (i.e. one verb, one noun at least. Though sometimes, I don't even manage that). There isn't really much of a plot, there isn't really much sense. And why most people would think that was a crazy thing to do (Why write a script if it makes no sense?!), actually, some of my best writing, and most fun has come from it.

There are a few reasons for this (One of which is because I'm doing this with my equally crazy friend with the best sense of humour - half the time is spent in hysterics over what she's written!), but the one I want to mention today is linked to a Dr Suess quote I recently read (Because what normal teenager doesn't read Dr Suess books in their free time?!) :

'Oh, the Thinks you can think up, if only you try.'

Under such time pressure, you don't worry too much about how much sense stuff makes. It just goes on the page. And that means that you can think up some truely crazy things that you had never thought about before which is half the fun. Last year, my friend and I, writing a comedy script, ended up with two main characters who start off as villian and hero, and swap roles until the hero-turned-villian is defeated by the milkman (who at one point was tortured using bubbles. Yeah, that's right.). See? A little off-the-wall and all the funnier for it (in our opinion at least). The things we thought up, and just 'cos we tried. (A similar challenge in November, Nanowrimo, involves writing a novel. Even more random things happen there).

The above post made probably no sense, because we've already started writing uncomprehensible stuff. But I suppose the moral of this post is: Do lots of crazy insane creative challenges. You;d be surprised what you come up with!

P.S. For anyone interested in Script Frenzy, you can still sign up now! www.scriptfrenzy.org A month of crazy writing awaits!

My number one tip for revising

It's Easter time! Now, I don't know what Easter means for you, maybe fluffy bunnies (or bilbies, if you're in Australia), maybe chocolate, maybe just general celebration but for me, Easter is a time of panic. Sheer panic.
Exams are almost upon us people.
I know panicking is not going to help much with my education but I can't really help it. Just thinking about all the stuff I have to learn is a little intimdating: Waves! Matrices! Intergration! Reactions, reagants and conditions! I start hyperventilating before I've even worked up the courage to open the book. So, as a way of calming myself before I flip the cover, I have resorted to stealing tatics from the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: The Hitchhiker's Guide to The Galaxy 'has the words DON'T PANIC inscribed in large friendly letters on its cover.'


Okay, so I'm not sure just how friendly looking those letters are, but they are working better than nothing. And it also helped delay my revision by five minutes as I waited for the Tipex to dry! (These blog post is taking up 20 minutes of revision time)
On a similar, yet still off topic note, I know exactly where my towel is. So I am even more prepared for my revision!
There's not a lot more procrastination I can get out of this post, so I'm off to learn more about the history of the structure of the atom... Anyone got any good revision tips (aside from this) that would help any?